Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Walking on clouds...

Now that our dad is on the road to healthier days I can't help but feel such gratitude in every second that I have my eyes open. Hearing the news last week that my dad is getting better - lifted literally a million pounds off my shoulders. I know that what was going on since Sept had been weighing on me but I had no idea just how much until it was released last Tuesday. Now the everyday trials and annoyances can be tackled that much easier - and I can even face them with a smile...

I know I don't say much on this blog - mainly because I have two amazing sisters that just take care of sending out the news for me...but I feel like I have so much say yet I can't really find the words to express exactly what I'm feeling. Mostly just happiness- elated happiness and relief. I can breath now. I no longer have constant anxiety and aggression. And when I did have those things - I didn't even realize it...I feel like now that my dad has another chance at life - or just a longer life than we were expecting - I can live my life now/again.

Now anyone who knows my dad knows that feeling this way is ridiculous and he would be completely pissed if anyone's "life" was put on hold because of his...but then anyone who knows Tow Ewing would find it impossible to continue on with their lives as if nothing was wrong. So being the youngest daughter of the greatest man alive - I can too easily put my life on hold when I find out that this amazing man's life could soon just be a memory.

But I don't want to have to "explain" to my future kids how awesome their grandpa was - no way - not gonna happen. They are going to know first hand just how great is. He's going to be the best fricken grandpa ever because he's the best dad ever. He's the best friend ever - brother, son, neighbor, employee, you name it, he's the best. And someone up there knows that there is too much going on down here for him to miss out on. (Thanks up there, by the way)

I am a believer - and I am extremely selfish. I want my dad to be better and I want my dad to stick around. So at 7 & 7 everyday - I picture my dad's cancer being plucked out the earth like carrots by a rabbit. (Little bunny Fufu) It's something someone told me that worked for a cancer patient - and it if worked for them, I'll try it too. And in my mind - it's working. I also picture my future and he's with me the whole way. The power of positive thinking works incredibly...this is proof.

I also know that I would not be able to fathom going through something like this with out the family and support group that I am blessed to have. I am truly the luckiest person in world to have the family I have. I don't even have to talk to them for them to know how I'm feeling - they know, and they pray, and they love unconditionally. Now that's family.

So I'm ending this little blog with the note of hope - I have hope today and I will always have hope from now on. I love everyday now - my cheeks have been sore for the past week because I can't stop smiling!!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

"More than a miracle... phenomenal"

Those are the exact words we heard Dr. Javeed say today! We finally got the good news we have been waiting for since September 15th! Hallelujah! So glad to write a blog where I am excited for the news!

So here's the deal... the tumor in the esophagus at the stomach junction decreased in size and the activity level is now the same as background cells (low activity... which is FAB!) The lymph node near the esophagus also decreased in size, the new tumors/nodules on the lungs and liver have resolved... meaning they are GONE!! And the spot on the femur is moderately better with decreased activity too. Dr. Javeed had nothing but optimism and good news for us today.

He told us that he has never seen someone respond so well and hasn't ever been able to give this good of report to a patient. Truly, truly, truly AMAZING! Me, Taylor, Renee and Sheryl all had tears of joy as we processed what great news this was. I know we have to be thankful for the doctors and the drugs... but really I think it is all of us killing the damn cancer at 7 & 7 that really made the results so astounding. Soooo... let's keep it up because clearly what we are doing is working.

Our dad starts his next round of EOX on Monday, and will complete two more cycles before the next PET scan (in about six weeks.) So hopefully this good news will become a trend. I told the girls in the office that we are now going to become greedy and expect good news every time we come! :)

This is for sure the news we have hoped for... maybe even better than we were praying for. And we thank God for listening to us all while we demanded that he heals our dad/brother/uncle/friend. So let's keep demanding it. Thank you all for the love, support, prayers and being on the Healing Warrior train.

Love you all... here's to kicking some more cancer ass!
~Whitney